I
am one of those rare creatures, a girl who loved superhero comic
books, including SUPERMAN, back in the 60s, when most SUPERMAN fans were boys. Girls who liked comics were more
likely to read ARCHIE and MILLIE THE MODEL (I liked those too – I
contain multitudes). I am aware that this makes me a nerd, possibly
even a dweeb. But I'm not necessarily a purist – I'm willing to
entertain alternate visions of my favorite heroes. So when I agreed
to go see the Superman movie with some friends, it was with an
open mind.
I
actually ended up liking it more than they did. In fact, I would
give it three stars. But that's mostly because I liked the guy who
played Superman; I liked his character, and I
think future movies about him could be quite entertaining. What
bugged me about SUPERMAN was the way the Kryptonians were handled in
the story.
Now
I'm really venturing into
nerd territory. Yes, I am actually going to kvetch about a bunch of
imaginary people and how they were misrepresented. Here's my main
complaint: these folks are presumably an older race, very advanced
both technologically and socially, and yet they apparently cannot
survive unless they're on their homeworld. This despite the fact
that one guy goes somewhere else and develops superpowers.
Not
buying it.
And
yet, I can see how this might be the case if the script had managed
to make a few points. (NOTE: writers of scripts are not always or
even usually to blame for story problems – studios always
are, since the buck stops with them.) Way back in the 60s, some guy
on an iconic TV show made the point that superior abilities breed
superior ambitions. In the case of the Kryptonians, this could mean
that they've reached a pinnacle in their development and would like
to maintain that high position. I would assume they have the
know-how to select for attributes they consider to be superior when
engineering their children. The fact that they would even consider
engineering their children in the first place suggests that they are
a race that focuses on their achievements as a group rather than on
individual freedom and the pursuit of happiness. It's a control-freaky
kinda attitude, and I can accept it as an interesting possibility.
But
something would have to drive them to be this autocratic. Long-term
war could be a factor, though they made the point that they had never
encountered another race in their space travels (except for us, and
we look exactly like them – sheesh). So they must have been
fighting with each other all this time. A long-term conflict between
bitter enemies with their kind of intelligence and abilities would be truly
epic. The losers in this conflict might all have been killed and/or
dissenting opinions stifled. They could have pursued that angle, and
it would have fit in with the idea of a bunch of hardliners chasing
after Kal-El and going all world-engine on his ass. And maybe that
was what they were trying to convey, but they failed.
So
here's what I would have done differently. I would have cut out most
of the special-effects-ridden conflict near the end and replaced it
by salting backstory throughout the rest of the movie. They had an
interesting plot device (also a REAL device) in the old starship that
Kal-El discovers, and it could have helped to do that. He's been
raised as a human by a farmer in Kansas, and that's the most
important point of the story – it explains why he's so full of
possibilities while the people he came from are so severely limited
in their choices.
And
that brings me to the other major stumble in this movie. I loved the
special effect of the tornado, but I don't believe that farm dog
would have huddled in the car while his masters ran off to the
overpass. One whistle would have called that dog. And I also don't
believe that a farm wife would sacrifice her husband to save the dog.
I DO believe a good farm dog has value, both emotional and monetary,
but the scene was unbelievable and clumsily contrived.
I
won't even get into how many millions of people must have been killed in that
attack on Metropolis, or the dopey heat-ray-vision,
I-can't-bring-myself-to-kill-the-bad-guy scene. Both of Kal-El's
fathers would have agreed: the response to the deadly force
represented by Super Bad Guy needed to be as swift and decisive as
possible.
I
also believe that the people of Earth would feel very paranoid and
freaked out about the fact that they were attacked by aliens. It
would be hard to go back to Business As Usual. And as was so
beautifully illustrated in The Incredibles, there would be law
suits. Another good reason for Superman to have a secret identity.
So
– it was a mixed bag. And they could have done a much better job.
With the amount of money and know-how the Movie Moguls have at their
disposal, it's pretty scandalous that they can't handle the most
important (and most low-tech) component of a movie: the story.
Too
bad. Maybe they'll do better next time.
I didn't even try to get the rights to any images from the SUPERMAN movie. Instead I just stole a bunch of art from Ernest Hogan.